When I awoke up from being dead I was met by my Executive Producer Chad. His “HELLO MY NAME IS” sticker had C#8D. I could not pronounce it when he said it, so I called him Chad.
He let out a loud belly laugh that appeared like he was trying too hard but after the first minute I was convinced he meant it and he had.
“Oh, you so and so, the viewing public prized the monikers you gave to folks. A great number of the fanbase actually named themselves after the nicknames and formed groups. There was some violence but we can discuss that later. It is an honour for you to name me.”
I was sent along the way to the “Life to Post-Life” transfer station via an internal rail system. I had a whole train car to myself. Chad along with a phalanx of assistants were catering to my every need and preparing for the info dump. I was a star and I am dead.
Chad was a talker and it appears he let out more then he should have. His assistants also broke protocol and wanted my signature. Apparently licking a 2 x 2 clear plastic sheet with my image on it was a signature here.
We are not a simulation but it is close. We are programming, entertainment. We do have free will but Executive Producers for each person can influence certain choices. Though the fans don’t appreciate too much meddling these days. They want it natural.
Chad started prattling on about the breaths taken. They don’t call them ratings or views but breaths. Apparently, I was a reliable manufacturer of content. Though I lived a pretty predictable standard life, something about me caught on.
“Breaths for extraordinary people tapped out. There is no realism to the spectators, they can only see someone do boundless things so many times. The crowd loves normal unsuccessful broken people they can relate too. Like you.” Explained my guardian angel.
“Um, thanks, I think.” I said.
Chad stared at me, kneeled down in front of me at crotch level, put his hands on my knees. I was already uncomfortable and he mentioned my wife. “We have to talk about Sarah’s Executive Producers and her fanbase.”
“The biggest breaths for both your shows was the affairs you had, you naughty boy. It was a hit but her fanbase was a tad upset, some would say incensed. In fact, 1 or 2 of our group here are security. Her fans know you’ve arrived and they are upset but we have a plan. A few interviews with a Sarah friendly host or two will fix that all up.”
“They know about the affairs?”
“We… all… do. You’re a star.” He said, slowly and awkwardly.
“I’ve watched them on reruns a few times. Honestly, I’m impressed. Those ladies were way out of your league and you sealed the deal. Nice work.”